Dr. Ron Rice
Licensed Psychologist
Over 25 years of experience
Real Problems 
Real Solutions
|
Dr. Ron Rice Real Problems |
|
Home 00000000000000000000 |
Deflating Depression
One of the most helpful things to do for this type of mild depression is to become active. Deliberately involve yourself with other people, despite the wish to withdraw or despite a general feeling of indifference. Developing new relationships or friends, rekindling old friendships, getting active again, challenges the assumptions underlying this depression. Some of these assumptions are. "Now that I have moved, I won't have the same kind of close friends or social life that I have had before," Or, "I won't be able to handle these new responsibilities. I won't gain the same respect I had in my old job or in my old friends." Depression can also occur through inactivity, so taking active steps for yourself might eliminate your depressed feelings. You can also plan ahead for certain times in your life such as lonely holiday periods. Or, what it will be like for you to take on new responsibilities, or leaving old friends. Do some anticipatory planning for social involvement and how you will deal with a new family or job responsibilities to help ease, if not avoid, the "blues." Situational depression lasts a few hours or a few days. Support of friends or relatives is very helpful and often is all that is needed. Another type of depression is the "grief reaction" to the loss of a friendship or a lover, or the death of someone very close. We often go through four stages in adjusting to grief. The first stage is one of numbness, disbelief and "it didn't really happen" kind of feeling. The second stage is that of feeling angry or hurt at the loss, We might initially feel angry about "How could he or she do this to me — leave me," or "The doctors didn't do enough," or "I'll get back — he or she can't get away with this!" The hurt may come as heavy sadness, lost feeling, a helpless feeling, an emptiness within us. In grief, both feelings are present, both the hurt and the sadness. You need to be aware that if you first experience hurt, you will also experience anger at being left, and if you feel the anger first, the hurt feelings will also be present. Both feelings are present and need to be recognized. The third stage is accepting the reality of the loss. This is often accompanied by a helpless feeling. "Now what do I do?" "Who else is out there for me?" "I feel lost, helpless, empty." Finally, accepting that this is the way it is. "I did lose someone close, someone important to me — where do I go from here." It is important to make plans for yourself. It is also important to go through the grief process. Research has shown that the more we try not to openly show our feelings, the longer they stay with us, Talking about your sadness, your loss, your grief. Letting yourself feel the grief. Even crying can help you get over the feeling of loss and the grief. Often within 6 to 10 weeks, the grief process is ended. With a major loss like the death of someone close or a divorce, grief can last up to one year. When there are not other forms of support for you during this period, professional counseling can be helpful. If the grief period continues for a long time, it may be wise to consult a professional. It is important to try to identify the source of your depression. When did it begin — as you remember. Did it start around the time that you experienced the break-up of a relationship or around the time you changed jobs, or lost interest in your present work? Did it come soon after a visit home or with an old friend? When you discovered that the relationship between you and your parents or friends had changed? Does it seem to center around a current relationship you are in now, and any dissatisfaction you feel with that relationship? Do you find that you are very critical of yourself, which results in your not being able to take compliments or feel successful or very worthwhile about yourself? Many individuals have learned through early childhood teaching, to strive toward being perfect in their work and in their personal lives. Nothing less than being perfect or the best will help them feel that they have arrived or succeeded. There is always a new goal — a new challenge or a temporary setback, Give yourself credit for what you have done rather than focusing on what hasn't been done. Be aware of your successes on a daily basis and give yourself credit and compliments for your achievements. These compliments may be feeling good about yourself or having finished a chapter in a book you have been trying to read or finishing one report even though you know there will be other reports, or having spent a few minutes with a friend who enjoys your company. Give yourself all the credit you deserve rather than staying focused on high, lofty ideals, which you may never achieve, Remember — you are a worthwhile human being even if you do not achieve your goals. Sometimes people who often feel depressed do not recognize or acknowledge their feelings. They ignore their emotions and stay focused on their thoughts, duties and responsibilities. Let yourself be aware of your feelings; how you feel about a particular person; a situation you are in or a responsibility you have facing you. Letting yourself have feelings can also tell you a lot about what you can do for yourself to overcome a depression. An example might be that you feel angry at your spouse or a close friend or a boss, but, you have kept yourself from realizing your anger. Being aware of your anger can also help you to decide on some action to improve your situation. You may decide you wish to talk to your spouse about some behavior that is unpleasant to you and request a change. Or, tell your boss about some unsatisfying working conditions, or give up on some of the heavy responsibilities or expectations you have been carrying around. I find it very helpful to discuss my feelings with a trusted friend or a professional to help me realize what actions I can take to help me gain more personal satisfaction. It is not uncommon for a depressed person to have thoughts of suicide. Suicidal thoughts occur because the depressed person feels discouraged, helpless, and often avoids talking to other people. He or she feels very alone and suicide sometimes seems like the only way out. Most depressions can be successfully helped through professional help and/or medications such as mood elevators or tranquilizers. |
|
Real Problems Call or email Dr. Ron Rice to make an appointment, to ask Ron Rice, PHD • Licensed Psychologist • (248) 626-2056 |
Sometimes,
we have brief situational depressions related to feeling overworked, or after having
changed jobs or living locations. With the loss of social ties, friends, and family
relationships, or taking on new responsibilities which are called situational depressions
or the "blues."